HSOS #42: The Missing Piece in Your Menopause Fitness Journey

Ever feel like you're doing everything right and still not seeing the results you're working for? Yeah, Kim's been there too, and she's got a registered dietitian and personal trainer card in her wallet to prove it. In this refreshingly honest episode, Kim pulls back the curtain on her post-Vegas conference slump, the chance conversation with another trainer that stopped her in her tracks, and the decision she finally made that had her feeling like a completely different person within days. Spoiler: she hired a trainer. And she thinks you might need to hear why.

Let's talk.

Welcome to Her Season of Strength, where women over 40 reclaim their bodies, their energy, and their voices, without apologies. I'm Kim Duffy, registered dietitian, personal trainer, mom, and your biggest hype woman when it comes to aging like you mean it.

This show isn't about chasing skinny or counting wrinkles. It's about building real strength: physical, emotional, and hormonal. Each week, I'll share straight-talking nutrition tips, sustainable fitness strategies, and conversations that help you feel powerful in your skin once again.

Menopause is not an ending, it is only the beginning. This is your season of strength.

What I Cover in This Episode:

• Why even the most knowledgeable women can find themselves spinning their wheels in menopause and why that is biology, not failure
• The honest truth about what Kim was feeling after her trainers' conference in Vegas and why she couldn't quite shake it
• The lightbulb moment that happened when a fellow trainer casually mentioned something that stopped Kim cold
• Why hiring a trainer when you ARE a trainer is not only common, it's actually the smartest move in the room
• The one thing knowledge alone will never give you, no matter how many certifications are behind your name
• Why asking for help feels like admitting defeat and the reframe that changes everything
• Five concrete things a coach gives you that you simply cannot give yourself
• The sneaky mental load you didn't even know you were carrying and how it disappears the moment you hand someone else the roadmap
• How to get started with coaching even if budget is a real concern, because it doesn't have to be all or nothing
• Why you do not have to earn the right to ask for help, you just have to be willing to

Link to Episode #41: "Brain Fog, Burnout, and Low Energy in Menopause: The Estrogen Connection"

Links & resources for this episode:

Fit After 50+ Program: 8-Week Nutrition Coaching & Strength Program for menopausal women.  Join the interest list today for the best discounts, bonuses and updates about the next program coming Fall of 2026!

Free cheat sheet: "20 Tips to Crushing Menopause"

Join my free weekly newsletter list and get a new high protein recipe sent to your inbox every Thursday. 

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Hi there, and welcome to Her Season of Strength, where women over 40 reclaim their bodies, their energy, and their voices without apologies. I'm Kim Duffy, registered dietitian, personal trainer, mom, and your biggest hype woman when it comes to aging like you mean it. This show isn't about chasing skinny or counting wrinkles.

It's about building real strength, physical, emotional, and hormonal. Each week, I'll share straight-talking nutrition tips, sustainable fitness strategies, and conversations that help you feel powerful in your skin once again. Menopause isn't an ending. It's only the beginning. This is your season of strength.

Hey, and welcome back to Her Season of Strength. I am Kim Duffy, your registered dietitian, personal trainer, and honestly, your biggest hype woman when it comes to navigating this wild, wonderful, sometimes completely humbling season of life that we call menopause. So the topic for this week's episode is a little bit personal and a little [00:01:00] humbling.

So in last week's episode episode 41 on brain fog and fatigue I'll link that in the show notes in case you haven't had a chance to listen in. I mentioned that I had just come back from a trainer's conference in Vegas, right? So it was like a coaching conference. So it was like nutrition coaches and personal trainers, and I love a good conference.

I love... There's nothing better than, the energy, the learning, the being around other people who geek out over the same things that, that you do, and it generally fires me up. I came home with pages of pictures, of notes, and a head full of just new ideas for my clients. But underneath it all, I was tired, and I talked a little bit about that before.

But I was, like, really tired, and if I'm being completely honest with you 'cause that's what we do here, right? I was a little down too, feeling a little bit depressed, and that bothered me because I know what I'm doing. I eat well. I train consistently. I'm not someone who phones it in when it [00:02:00] comes to my health, and yet my body wasn't necessarily giving me the results I was working for.

My strength training felt like I was spinning my wheels, and that's... It's a frustrating place to be, especially when you know exactly what you're supposed to be doing. So this week, I did something I honestly should have done a long time ago. I hired a virtual personal trainer and nutrition coach, and I am only a couple days in, but I already feel like a completely different person mentally.

I needed this more than I realized. And so today I thought, when I was trying to think of what I wanted to talk about, I thought, "You know what?" I wanna talk a little bit about why I made that decision, what happened at the conference that kinda- cracked something open for me. And why I think this message is just as important for you as it was for me, because if I, a registered dietician and personal trainer, a lot of years under my belt, needed to ask for help, I [00:03:00] want you to hear why it's not a weakness, and that it can be exactly what you need.

And so let's dive in. In Vegas, I had a... There was a room full of fitness professionals, trainers, coaches, people who live and breathe this stuff. And I'm in my element, right? I'm taking notes. I'm absorbing everything. I'm having great conversations, meeting new people. But there was something else going on, like something I couldn't quite shake.

And I think it's a little bit of feeling of am I in the right space? Do I look like all these people? Do I... these were some incredibly fit people. And it just made me realize I wasn't feeling like myself physically, and that's hard to say with when, your whole identity is wrapped up in health and fitness.

And, I've been consistent with strength training. My t- nutrition is very dialed in. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a treat. I love candy. I love ice cream. But, the [00:04:00] results I want, they aren't showing up the way I expect them to. And if you've been listening to this podcast for any amount of time, you already know why that is.

It's menopause, right? We're all in it. And that's why I chose this topic. That's why I chose to work in this niche, because I know a lot about it, and I love working with people. I love working with other women. But it shifts how our bodies respond to exercise. It changes how we recover. It makes building and holding onto muscle harder than it used to be.

And it can do all of that while we're still doing everything, quote-unquote, right? And there's never a perfect... There's never a perfectly right. But, that's a part that nobody really warns us about. We can be doing all the right things and still feel like, totally on shaky ground, right?

The ground has shifted under our feet. And that's where I was feeling. I was n- not kinda seeing what I wanted to see. I was feeling a little depleted and, if I'm honest, a little defeated. And then I had a little bit of a light bulb moment because there was [00:05:00] another trainer at this conference, and she's very close to my age, and she works also with women in peri and post-menopause.

And let me tell you, she looked amazing, right? She's strong. She's confident. She clearly is taking great care of herself. And we got to talking. At some point, she mentioned, almost in passing, that she had been working with a trainer who was running the conference, and she'd been working with him for a while now.

And I was just like, "Stop," and I'm looking at her. And it wasn't a judgment. It was more like, "Wait, why haven't I ever done that?" 'Cause here's the thing, it's completely common for trainers to hire other trainers. It is actually the norm for a lot of fitness professionals because, but yet, sorry, somehow I'd never done it.

And there's two really good reasons why working with a trainer, even when you are a trainer, just makes sense. The first is that you get exposure to completely different coaching style. Cues you've never used, and programming approaches that you haven't tried, and ways of thinking about movement [00:06:00] and progression that you don't get from inside your own head.

It just, it makes you better at your job. And the second reason is bigger. You simply cannot coach yourself the way someone else can. You can have, every certification, and every credential, and every piece of knowledge, and you still have blind spots. You still have habits. You still have the tendency to do what feels comfortable instead of what's actually going to push you forward.

And an outside perspective can kinda cut through all that. You can know everything about nutrition and fitness and still benefit enormously from having someone in your corner who is fully focused on you. And that conversation kinda reminded me that. And here's something I really wanna be direct about, because I think it's one of the most important things I'm gonna say today, and that knowledge does not adam- automatically equal results, especially when, our hormones are in just this chaos during perimenopause and menopause.

[00:07:00] And, I know how to lift, I know how to program, I know what to eat for body composition, and performance, and hormonal health. I know all that, and I was still spinning my wheels, because knowing the information and having someone hold you accountable to actually executing it at the level it needs to be executed, those are two very different things.

Menopause changes how our body responds to training, and it changes how we recover. It affects how we build and maintain muscle. And even with excellent nutrition and consistent effort, the goalposts move on us. And that's not, a personal failure. It's biology, and it's what this season of life does.

So the missing piece for me wasn't more information. I didn't need another certification or another research paper or whatever. What I needed was accountability, and fresh eyes, and someone who was gonna push me past the ceiling I had unknowingly put on myself. And, to all women out there [00:08:00] listening who've been telling themselves that she should be able to figure this out on her own, that story is keeping you stuck.

I know it because it kept me stuck longer than what it should have, right? So why? Why do we resist asking for help even when we know better? And I've thought about this a lot over the past week, and I think for a lot of us, especially women who are knowledgeable, and accomplished, and used to being that person with all the answers, asking for help, sometimes it feels like ad- admitting that you are less than perfect, that something has gone wrong.

It means you've failed at something, right? Or that you're an imposter, that you maybe don't know all that you thought you knew. And there's something vulnerable about saying out loud, "What I've been doing isn't working the way I want it to, and I need a little help." So let me offer a little different frame, though.

When a [00:09:00] cardiologist goes to their own doctor for a checkup, nobody thinks less of them. When an accountant hires a financial advisor, we don't say, "They must be bad at their job." We say, "That's smart. That's someone who understands the value of an outside perspective." So why do we hold ourselves to a different standard?

Asking for help is not a sign that you're behind. It's not a sign that you've failed. It's a sign that, you are serious about moving forward, and you're smart enough to know that you don't have to do it by yourself. When I finally made that decision to hire a trainer, something shifted in me before I had even had my first session.

Just making that decision, and he's, sending me all these things to sign up for and do and whatever, and I was just... I was, like, the best student, right? Because I think it was like I finally had realized I gave in and I did it, and it was, like, almost like this relief and this excitement, because I deserve this support. It changed something in me, and I want that for you, too. [00:10:00] So let me talk practically for a minute about, what working with a trainer or nutrition coach actually gives you because I think sometimes we know in theory, but it helps to kinda hear it laid out clearly.

That first thing is accountability. This sounds simple, but do not underestimate it. When someone's expecting you to show up, when you have a session on the calendar and a real person waiting for you or maybe checking in on you, in, in my case. Looking at my workouts or I'm... I have to send him videos of how I'm doing movements, and how they're going, and how I'm building strength.

And I'm, tracking. I'm actually tracking, what I'm eating and it's just... Yeah, it's kinda cool. But the thing is you're gonna show up differently. You can't negotiate with yourself the way you can when it's just you and a plan that you wrote. You don't have that same skin in the game, I think.

So the second ob- thing is objective eyes. Your coach sees things that [00:11:00] you've stopped seeing. Compensations in your movement, patterns in your eating. Places where you've plateaued and gotten comfortable. You're too close to yourself to see all of that clearly, right? You're in the middle of it, and that's not a criticism, that's just human nature.

Third is progressive overload that you'll actually follow through on, and this one's huge. It's so easy to stay in your comfort zone when you're programming for yourself. You know what feels hard but manageable. And I have to say, this is something that many of my clients will tell me, is when they're working out with me, and I'm watching them, I'm cueing them, I'm handing them the weights, they, they admit that they p- they are pushed way harder with me than they do when they're doing the workouts on them own, on their own, even if it's the same workout.

So a good coach is gonna push you past, what feels hard but manageable. They're gonna add weight [00:12:00] when you haven't ke- when you know you would've been like, "Oh yeah, this is fine. These 10-pound weights are fine." They're gonna change that stimulus when your body has adapted, and that's where those results live, on the other side of your comfort zone.

And fourth is a plan that actually is built for you. Not a template, not a general framework, but your body, your goals, your hormones, your life, and that's specifically... That specificity matters more than people realize. And fifth, and this one, hit me hard f- these first couple days, the mental relief of not having to think about it.

You just show up, you do the work. The decision fatigue disappears. Someone else is holding that roadmap, and your only job is to follow it. I didn't realize how much mental energy I was spending managing my own programming until I didn't have to do it anymore. I'm only a few days in. Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting this to just go so smoothly.

I'm in that honeymoon period, which I'm always telling people about. But I don't know, [00:13:00] I already feel more energized, more focused, more motivated than I have in a while, and that's not a coincidence. It's what support can do. You don't have to f- be a trainer to feel like asking for help means you've somehow failed.

So many women over 40, we're white-knuckling it, through our health journey completely alone. And I get it, because our pride plays a role. Our budget is real. Not knowing where to start. Feeling like you should have it figured out by now. It's very real. So let me address those briefly.

If pride is the thing holding you back, I hope this episode is helping to loosen that grip a little, even just a tiny little bit. Because your results matter more than the story you're telling yourself about not needing help. If budget is a concern, you start smaller than you think you need to. Even a few sessions a month with a coach and trying to, even, doing the rest virtually, even an online program with check-ins can [00:14:00] shift your trajectory, it's significantly.

It doesn't have to be that all or nothing. And I do in-person sessions. I also do virtual sessions where you're just using my independent Trainerize program, my app on your phone, so you can go into the gym. I've created the workout for you, and you can see little videos of how to do each movement.

If you have... if you need to take a video and send me like, "Hey, Kim, I don't know if I'm doing this right. Let me look." So I can watch the video. I can say, "Oh, hey, okay, we're not, engaging your core," or, "We're not... that movement, we need to be feeling it here in this muscle, and it looks like maybe you're, you're doing something different."

There are lots of ways that you can have accountability. All right? It doesn't have to be, all or nothing. "Oh, nope, if I can't have it in person, if I can't afford it in person, then I can't do anything at all." And if you don't know where to start, it's exactly what coaches are for.

You're not supposed to know. Kinda that's the whole point. That's why I do strategy calls with all my clients, right? Before you [00:15:00] start. If you're like have a question like, "I don't know if we're a good fit," or, "I don't know, how exactly this works," or, "What would be a good plan for me?" And that's exactly why I have that, I have a free strategy call. We get on. We chat about it. We talk about if we are even a good fit and what you're looking for. What are your goals? So here's what I want you to take away from this. The most successful athletes in the world have coaches. The most successful business leaders have mentors and advisors.

Seeking guidance is not what you do when you've run out of options. It's what high performers do on purpose from the very beginning. You deserve that kind of support, and you don't have to earn it first. So here's where we landed. I went to Vegas. I came home tired, a little deflated, had a conversation with another trainer that made me stop and think, and I made a decision I think is gonna change a lot for me.

That this is going to be an ongoing conversation on this podcast. I'll be updating you, letting you know how things are going, the wins, the hard sessions, the moments where I wanna [00:16:00] quit and don't, and everything in between, and I want you to see the real version of this, not just the highlight reel on, the Instagram perfection where everything is only beautiful, right?

But the message I really want you to carry with you today is this: You don't have to earn the rice- the right to ask for help. You just have to be willing to. Menopause isn't a, reason to lower your expectations for your body. It's a reason to get smarter about how you support it, and sometimes the smartest thing you could do is put yourself in someone else's capable hands and let them help you get where you wanna go.

So if you have any questions about, who can help you, or if a trainer is right for you, or a nutrition coach, or even just somebody kind of checking in on you here and there to kinda help keep you on track to your goals, reach out, reply, send me an email at in- info@strengthandnutrition.com, or schedule a strategy session.

I'd love to, I would love to chat more with you and just kinda [00:17:00] see what your health and wellness goals are, and if I can help you get there. And if this episode resonated with you, or if any part of it made you think of, another woman in your life who's been pushing through alone and could use this reminder, please share it with her.

Send her this episode, tag or text her the link. And hit that little plus or follow button just so that you can get reminders of when a new episode is out so you never have to miss one. And as always, if the show has meant something to you, leaving a review, it goes such a long way. It helps other women to find their way here, and it means the world to me.

And remember, this is about progress over perfection. We're in this for the long haul, and this is your season of strength. Have an amazing da